The Death Of Love In The 21st Century

What The Hell Happened To Wanting To Get To Know Someone, Caring For Someone? (Before Asking Them For Nudes)

By Sophia LaRocca

Published, October 20th, 2024

I want to start this article off by apologizing for my absence these past two weeks. But of course, it comes with some exciting news. I am re-branding and re-publishing my first book, “Diaries of a Fashionista.” It has been in need of some modern re-touches for quite some time now. New chapters, fixed grammar, and of course a brand new cover. So I have been quite busy getting that in line for everyone. Plus, where the first one goes, the sequel follows. I have been endlessly editing and wiring the sequel any chance I get and am proud to announce that soon after the re-branded book comes out, the sequel will follow.

I have been extreamly busy with life in general for the past couple of weeks. Like ever since I turned twenty-two, I’m really cracking down on what’s important. Which of course, is my career as an author as well as my family, friends, and job. Little to no free time has allowed me to write on here, but since I consider this one of my jobs as well, I’m glad to be back. Please be patient though, as with my busy schedule, I might miss some more weeks ahead.

But fear not dear readers, I’m not going anywhere.

The idea for this article popped into my head when I was at work talking to my best friend. I blurted out words that I never thought I would say, but here we are. I’ll tell you those words in a second, but first we need some background.

I found out this week that the man I’ve been in love with for five years—a dear friend of mine—had unfriended me. What? I mean yeah, we haven’t talked in a while, and I was attempting to move on. We gave it a go, went out a couple of months ago, but it didn’t seem like he was all that into me. Then I got with my ex boyfriend and the rest was history.

And I chose my ex boyfriend over the man I have been in love with since high school.

Do I regret it everyday? Of course I do! Can I change the past… unfortunately no. I was actually talking about that with my oldest neice the other day. We make so many poor depictions based on what we feel in the moment that effect us later down the line. And we don’t even realize it.

I’m sure he was hurt. I was hurt when he chose pleanty girls over me in the past. But of course I came to relaize that he unfriended me, and mutual friends are placing the blame on me. Rightfully so I suppose. It didn’t sink in until the other day at work when I bursted into tears. I kept it together, but when my best friend accused me of ‘being in a mood,’ I knew I had to tell her.

And boy, did I go on a tyrant.

It wasn’t just about the situation thought, it’s because I realized something.

Everyday more and more amazing woman whined up single in there late twenties and early thirties. Why is that? Now I’m not late twenties or early thirties yet, but I know one day I will be.

Now, what does it dwindle down to?

Is it the men? Is it us? Or is it both?

Spectrum News 1 reported in 2023 there was a study that showed marriage rates have gone down over 60% over the past 50 years in the U.S.

Our generation is slowly watching this decline happen more and more, but it’s not only marrige. You have to be in a relationship to get married, no ones in a relationship! And if they are, it’s an unhealthy one.

It seems that single women as of late have three options;

One- Be alone.

Two- Settle for an abusive, tortured prick, get knocked up, and get trapped.

Three- Go on dating apps in the hopes of meeting someone just to get disappointed when they get cold feet, or are just looking for nudes.

I’m not bitter by any stretch of the imagination. I’m actually quite hopeful. But the words the other day that came out of my mouth even shocked me. I told my best friend that I was losing hope. Guys my age in their early twenties think relationships are some game, and if girls agree to play the game back, they give up because you’re not ‘easy’. And if you are easy, you’re considered a slut. It’s impossible!

If I’ve said it once, I’ve said it a thousand times; Guys in their twenties want to be entertained, they’re bored and useless and want to be entertained, and I’m tired of acting like that’s a lie. They’re entitled. And think just because you are attracted to them, you owe them something.

Right now, they don’t see you as an equeal, some not even as a human being. I swear, it’s like they think you’re a sex worker! One day they’ll be asking you how many kids you want and the next, they’ll ghost you.

You see, in 2018 is when the marrige rate hit an all time low, falling from 6.9 to 6.5 per 1,000 people from 2017-2018. That’s when it all started, and this bleeds into our generation.

The lack of respect for the opposite sex is behooving. Maybe it’s always been that way though.

Although, it wasn’t even my friend that I’m in love with that made me lose hope. It’s everyone else around me.

The guys on my Snapchat that think they’re toying with my feelings, when I know their game all along. But still somehow it kind of hurts when they ghost. Hurts even more when it’s a guy that actually showed interest, and not just an asshole. Or the amazing single women around me who don’t want to be single but are in the same predicament I am. Or the woman around me who or less then perfect, but are stuck in terrible situations because they stayed with a terrible man.

That is what’s making me lose hope.

I feel like I watch relationships—at least happy ones—decline every single day.

It makes you wonder, what caused the death of love in the 21st Century? And how can we fix it?