Why I’m Embracing My Inner Samantha Jones This Summer

And Why You Should Too

By Sophia LaRocca

Published, July, 21, 2024

(Credit to HBO and Pinterest for this image)

It’s not a hot girl summer, it’s a Samantha Jones summer. Because I mean, come on, if there is any character that is the representation of hot girl summer, it’s Samantha.

First seen on the hit show Sex and the City back in the 90’s, the iconic Kim Cattrall played the confident, sexual, funny, and fashionable older friend of the other three in the group.

I want to do a series on the four girls in the show, surrounding their archetypes and how it’s important to take something from each of the girls with their unique and different personalities.

But I think it’s important to start with Samantha, especially because I was writing this column anyway.

Samantha is not only a fashion icon, but an icon when it comes to self love. Something I’m leaning all over again. Time and time again she has shown the women who watch the hit show how to put yourself first. A man has never come before Samantha, and never will. Which I think will always be an important lesson for women of any age. Especially in your twenties. We might as well learn it now, ladies.

The first episode of Sex and the City aired June 6th,1998, and in this episode we watch all four girls navigate their dating lives, hoping into the fabulous world of New York City wealth told from the point of view of the main character, columnist Carrie Bradshaw. We see all four girls very different personalities during the first iconic dinner scene for Samantha’s birthday. It is actually Samantha who drives the main point of the episode. Her point; Have sex like a man.

Of course, if anyone reading this has watched the show, this is very Samantha. Sexually confident, knows what she wants, and won’t shy away from the hard to have conversations. (Well, when it comes to sex that it is.) So of course Carrie goes off with an ex of her’s and tests out the theory. Having sex like a man, what does it mean?

Disclaimer: We’re sterotyping! I get it, I get it, I could hear it right now. “Not all men are like that!” Well, most of them are. Especially in their twenties. Until their light is on. (Another Sex and the City reference. If you get it, you get it.) Basically they’re like that until they’re ready to get married.

So having sex like a man means with no commitment, no remorse, prioritize your pleasure first. That’s all.

And then I started thinking about it; What if we all collectively looked at dating like a man. Not just sex, but relationships as a whole. What’s the Golden Rule?

Treat others the way they treat you?

What a thought.

What a Samantha thought.

Not putting a man before your work, family, friends, or personal life.

Samantha does what she wants, sleeps with who she wants, when she wants, and somehow still walks around Manhattan with class. I want to bring up the point about how multiple times throughout the show it is eluded that Samantha is a ‘slut.’ Carrie even judged her once! I think all the girls have judged her once and awhile during the show. But don’t we find it funny how men can afford to be sluts because they were never told they were?

Samantha is the equal of every single Wall Street finance bro who do what—put their careers and personal lives first. They sleep around, they walk around the city like they own it, and work on their careers. She has a career, she has a life, she has money, success, she doesn’t need a man. She enjoys the pleasures of men, but does not put it before her.

Those men aren’t called sluts… are they? Simply because they sleep with who they want and put themselves first? And keep in mind, we’re not throwing ourselves at men. Sam doesn’t. She confidently approaches them, and if they don’t reciprocate, why bother. Because another thing she taught me? We don’t chase men. Why? Because there is a better one right around the corner. (Also… you don’t need one.) Although it’s ok that you want one. It’s even hard for me sometimes to admit it gets lonely without a boyfriend. But hey, at least I don’t have someone ruining my day at ten in the morning.

Samantha taught me plenty, but one of the most prominent things is to be confident in my sexuality and not feel shame for it! Because let’s face it, certain things you just can’t talk about with your Mom! Sam taught me not only sexual confidence but confidence in general! She has proven over and over again that a man was never—and never will be—the center of her life or attention. She even broke up with a long term boyfriend who treated her amazing because the relationship became too much about him. It wasn’t equal. She was always putting him first. And that was her deal breaker. Samantha Jones comes first, because afterall, it’s Samantha Jones’s life. Isn’t it?

Why am I stepping into this era and urging you to do so with me?

Well that’s simple. Ever since stepping back into the dating pond and talking to some guys, (my mistake) I’ve realized how many of these “men” bask in the idea of the upper hand. Between leaving you on delivered for hours, or only texting late into the night, they love it. No matter how much I try, or what’s in their bio, they can’t seem to take me seriously. Why? Because they don’t want to. Nothing is serious to guys in their twenties! So why are we sitting here talking to them, and acting like we are. Like we’re anything but entertainment to half of these guys!

So I say, we try it out! Just for the summer. Date like a man. Nothing serious, no strings attached. No commitment, nothing. Just fun. A distraction, entertainment. Just like we are to them. And I know it will be hard for a lot of us, trust me. Like it or not, women run on emotions. We know this, even though we don’t want to admit it. Especially me, I tend to imagine a future before a future happens, and that’s my downfall. But also, my biggest strength, because I could see what’s to come. I think part of me needs to stop imagining a future with every man I talk to though and start living. Because ladies, they don’t imagine a future with every girl they talk to. And trust me, you’re not the only one.

Never just talk to one man. Samantha didn’t! Keep. Your. Options. Open.

As I said before, one of the many things Samantha has taught me is that if one man won’t, another man will.

So what are we taking away from this? What has Sam taught us?

One- You come first.

Two- No man—and I mean no man—gets in the way of your job or personal matters.

Three- You do not revolve your life or day around someone you’re seeing.

Four-Sexsual Confidence. (It’s ok to explore, talk, and feel without feeling shame.)

Five-Confidence in general. Sam is beautiful, and the way she holds herself is too. But her confidence is what makes her the most attractive.

Six- You are not a slut for being sexually active!!!

I’m going to end this article with my favorite Samantha Jones quote. It’s pertaining to her relationship with her longtime boyfriend Smith in response to Charlotte’s ever so innocent, “but you love him” comment.

“Does that mean saying his name 50 times more a day then I say my own? Does that mean worrying about him and his needs before me and mine? Is it all about the other person, is that love?”- Samantha Jones, Sex and the City (The Movie)

No. The answer is no. And she knew that. And we should too.

But I think the most important thing Sam’s taught me is that there is no more important relationship than the one we have with—well—us! Ourselves! We have to put us first sometimes, no matter how much we might love a person. And that’s ok!

So have that Samantha Jone’s summer. Put yourself first, treat the men you talk to how they treat you, live for you. And have confidence while doing so.