Why Isn’t Gen Z f@#&king Dating!?

The Generation Has Seemed To Get The Words ‘Dating’ And ‘Relationship’ Mixed Up And Everyone Is slowly Turning To Hookup Culture. Let’s Talk About It

By: Sophia LaRocca

Published, August 18th, 2024

Now don’t come from me! I’m a part of Gen Z, I could write this article.

This idea has been sticking in my head like glue ever since I opened my eyes and stepped into this mess that is the dating pool. “There’s a lot of fish in the sea!” They say. Yeah, well, half of them are chorionic liars, future wife beaters, porn addicts, and alcoholics. So where are the good ones? We’re still on the hunt for them. And we all know there are complete and utter assholes in every generation, but why is it so easy to find them in ours? Even better, why does there seem to be more of them popping up day by day?

I just did a pretty big expose—my last post—on dating apps and how I think they may be ruining romance. But I want to take it a step further. Let’s dig a little deeper, shall we?

My wonderful generation seems to be plagued by our love of social media. To be fair, we were pretty much the first generation to grow up with it. I remember when the first IPhone came out! But it was different, because most of us were still able to be kids, advanced technology like the IPod came out when I was in fourth or fifth grade. But since then, we’ve had our noses in a phone. Not saying it’s a bad thing, just saying the facts. So of course when it came to that time, we all hoped on dating apps, cause why not! And as I said… dating apps may or may not be ruining romance. But there is one thing I know for sure.

Gen Z is not dating.

And I want to know why.

My generation seems to acosciate dating with a relationship, and I could completely understand why. I think we’ve kind of been fed by the media that when you’re dating someone, you’re in a relationship with them. But that’s not the case! Dating—to me—is that time between getting to know someone and actually being in a relationship with someone. You’re seeing someone, you’re going on dates with them, but you’re not exactly exclusive. Does that make sense?

Although, it seems as if more labels is getting piled on whatever you’re going through in the dating world, day by day. Like the talking stage. Correct me if I’m wrong, but there was no talking stage back in the early 2000’s or 90’s. You were dating! And as I said before, we truly have dating apps to blame for the dreaded ‘talking stage.’ Not that it’s always a bad thing, but it’s a pain. And lately I’m finding that with dating apps, it’s getting harder and harder to get out of the talking stage!

But really, before dating apps, the talking stage was dating! You went on dates to get to know someone. You jumped straight to dating. And once again, that doesn’t mean exclusively, that just means you could actually get the person out of the house instead of talking all day, sexting at night, and repeating the next day, begging for an in person meeting!

Think of dating like trying on different pairs of jeans. Before getting ready to commit to a side and style, you have to try a few on!

And believe me, we can’t place all the blame on our Gen Z men. Us women do it too!

If everyone just realized that dating doesn’t mean a relationship, I think a lot of our ‘online relationships’ would be solved. Both men and women of all ages can be scared of relationships, I get that. But it seems as if people in our generation are making their intentions less and less clear because they’re either scared, or they want to get what they want.

Like a guy I was talking to on Tinder. His bio said that he was looking for a relationship, and if you’re on dating apps, you know never to believe that. Anyway, he imminently tried sexting me and I had to block him. Make. Your. Intentions. Clear. I know pleanty of girls who would be down to do that. Don’t lie in your dating app bio and pretend to be something you’re not. Chances are, if you’re a douchbag, I’ll find out soon enough. Don’t need an in-person date to know that. But that’s the thing, sometimes I think Gen Z men don’t even make the time to date because they are so scared of it!

What are they scared of?

Are they just lazy?

Not to mention, men have a habit of using you when they’re bored. So he could be talking to you everyday on the phone, treating you like a girlfriend. And you’ve never met this man in your entire life. You beg to go on a date and he keeps promising soon, but soon never comes. Then boom, he meets that person that makes him want to go that extra mile to go on a date and you’re blocked.

I was always taught that if a guy likes you, they’d do anything to see you. And back when there was no FaceTime, or dating apps, a guy that was intrested in you was dying to see you! Even if he just wanted to hook up! Now, these men could get whatever they want from you through a screen. They don’t need to date. It’s as if going on dates has become abnormal to Gen Z men. They have become accustom to this virtual push and pull and block, repeate because they are scared! Because dating is associated with relationships! And the only one I have to blame is the media, because I once associated dating with relationships too until I saw no one going on dates! And I relized, there is a difference between dating around and being in a relationship. You may be ‘seeing’ a person. Does not mean you’re in a relationship with them! That’s what everyone is failing to realize.

Unfortunately, when we do, we get hurt. Like a guy you’ve been ‘dating’ for a month blocking you. Or a girl you’ve been ‘seeing’ for a month ghosting you. God, it hurts. But really, it’s just the equivalent of someone not calling you back in the 90’s after a great date. You know what I mean? Same problems, it’s just that every generation finds a different way of looking at them. Us with technology, it’s very hard.

Not to mention, I think the pandemic screwed us up bad. Hell, we had to learn to find social skills all over again, some of us are still learning. As well as hookup culture. There was hookup culture in every generation but we seem to be the first generation that’s actually having the issue of getting the man off of the phone and in our bed! Isn’t it strange?

Unrelaistic standards, porn, and unhealthy relationships are constantly thrown in our face, and I expect us to be just fine? No, absolutely not. I don’t think we’re fucked, but I don’t think we’re perfect. I think sometimes we’ve been set up for failure in more ways then one.

But I also have hope. I have to.

Even through all the lazy men who don’t want to go out on an actual date because they’re either too scared or they rather get their rocks off online, I still have hope. Hope that there’s one who doesn’t. One out of millions, because really, that’s all we need. One.

In conclusion, I think why Gen Z is not going on dates and dating, is because they associate it with relationships and at the age we are now, we’re terrified of them. A lot of us are. And it’s understandable. But once again, what we have to realize is that dating is not exclusive and there is no pressure! Also, I think a lot of us have gotten lazy. Especially if you just want to hook up. Why go out, when you could get what you want online.

Unfortunately though I think it takes a real special person to make you go out of your way to see someone these days. It’s not impossible. It shouldn’t have to be that going on an actual date is the extra mile, but it is. So find that person. It sucks, but find that person that’s willing to go that extra mile to be on an actual date with you! That doesn’t want to just use you because they’re bored, doesn’t want to use you as their ‘Snapchat girlfriend’ but actually wants to see you.

It’s tough, but sometimes I think we have to open our eyes to what’s in front of us and the answer will be right there.